Should I? Yes. Will I? most likely no.

i just...... yah.

i'm not sure how i feel about today.



so, i am *FINALLY* in my new house. and its been great, despite the fact that nearly all my plumbing completely sucks and is failing me. to make a long story short, i may have to start doing dishes in the bathtub. which seriously, i am not looking forward to.

but i was doing good. things were coming together. it felt like my world was looking up.

but then i got sad.

not too sad. just a little sad. it was one of those momentary lapses where i feel completely shoved aside, as though i am not worth it and am not important. que abandonment issues T___T. i have to remind myself that i am responsible for the position i have put myself in. i have to remember my place. and at the end of the day, i have to learn to live with the fact that i am a second choice; a side dish, not the main course. if i can't accept that, than i have to change my position. but i also have to remember that if i change my position, i may lose a few things. so i have to decide for myself whether those things are important enough that i am willing to continue to be "like this".  to be quite honest, i'm not sure. that's the funny thing about knowing what you should do, what the ethical choice is. but you don't want to do it. for whatever reason. and you continually ask yourself "what should i do?".

i do know what i should do. but, most likely, i won't do it.

so i'll handle the consequences. reap what i sow. yadda yadda.

for now, here's a WIP that, most likely, i will never finish. ever so often i like to try painting in photoshop, and it usually never gets completed. but that's okay, we'll call it "practice".

this is Tacey, one of the secondary characters in "The Goose Girl". she currently has no mouth, and a misplaced nose.