i have to do something this week. well, according to my best (girl) friend, i don't HAVE to do it and really SHOULDN'T do it. while i understood the point she was making and sort of agree with her, the reality is that i myself feel the need to go. its true, i'm not going to enjoy myself. and its going to be very difficult. but i have to go.
i have to prove to myself that everything is okay. i need to be able to be in a room with these people and not feel like my stomach is going to twist and implode. i have to be a good friend and show my support, because that's the kind of person that i am. i want to be that kind of person. it has nothing to do with him and everything to do with my expectations of myself. Aino is the kind of friend who is there when you need her, who cheers you on, and supports you. i am clearly establishing this with my prescence at this event.
so yes, its a tad masochistic of me to go. yes, i may want to hurl and or get drunk (which i don't really do). but i think i should do it. a sort of grit your teeth and get it over with situation.
i will be polite, kind, a social if need be. but in reality, this is how i feel about you: θ＼(；￢_￢)
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